#and we'd get to see the tropes and stuff it picked up most on and have a good laugh

[demo-ness]

i do kinda hope people shift more towards a “it’s like GMOs” attitude about AI stuff.

in concept? not harmful, cool technology, a stepping stone to more advances

in practice? the capitalism got it :(

[flowerandthesongstress]

Hi I'm dropping by to share an opinion that might be controversial, but might just as well be common and widespread among the 'loved this show as a child, rewatched as an adult' crowd. I'm not sure. I'm always out of the loop. All of the loops.

Anyway.

Recently I'd learned that my SO never watched the X-Files, the show that was my favorite when growing up (yes, I should not have been watching it, but oh well...frankly, I had much worse sources of childhood trauma in my life) and we decided to amend the fact.

Over the course of a few months, we went through approximately 85 to 90% of the episodes. We skipped a few insignificant ones. With insects.

Some short remarks first. One: all of my favorite episodes still hold up and some go twice as hard and Clyde Bruckman goes ten times as hard. Two: Mark Snow might have been in an abusive and mutually codependent relationship with an oboe. Three: "Everything Was Inspired By The X-Files" seriously, so much media in the last two decades has just been 'a person who watched the x-files when growing up is now writing stuff' and I'm not immune ... Four: this video essay that I found after we'd gotten to 'JS's from OS' and I was like "waaaaait I minute, this is... postpomo? in 1996? released around the time Infinite Jest was published? when metamodernism still was little more than a concept in DFW's head? what the heck?" and looked it up to see if my brain was wishful-hallucinating, and found this video essay. Five: when watching the show for the first time, I only knew three names: Anderson, Duchovny, Carter. Like, 'Hello yes this a cool scary TV program with The Anderson and The Duchovny as my Mom and Dad, and all of this program in its entirety is made by The Carter'. That was it. Because only those three names were translated in the credits.

And now I'm going to ask you to please don't kill me. Please. I'm going to die, I promise, I just don't want to be killed right now because of a possibly controversial X-files opinion. This is just a personal opinion. You are free to not share it, you are free to hate me, but could we please avoid conflict and arguments? I love you. I was drugged.

Anyway x 2.

Here's the most important thing I realized now that I'd rewatched the show in English as an adult who'd loved the X-Files as a minor (and watched it dubbed), and then went on to receive a university education that very specifically gives her a shmauthority to determine if a writer is actually a crap writer...

...Chris Carter is actually a crap writer.

He's uuuhm. He's bad at writing. Wait, no, that's unfair. He is what I like to call 'painfully mediocre'. Slightly paraphrasing a quote from my other favorite American show: he's every kid on the playground that didn't get picked on. He's a business casual potted plant, a human white sale. He's VH1, Robocop 2, and Back to the Future 3. He's the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. Vince Gilligan is the center slice of a square cheese pizza. He's Jim Belushi.

He's just so. painfully. mediocre as a writer. Some of his choices were BAFFLING. Not just bafflingly bad, but simply baffling in a 'how and why and why would anyone ever think this is a compelling idea' sense. Some moments made me wonder if there's zero self-awareness or negative self-awareness.

Chris Carter would hardly make you mad with how bad he is. He's seldom bad in a memorable way. He was cliche when those cliches weren't yet cliches. When the TV tropes website didn't exist. When metamodernism still was little more than a concept in one bandana-covered, troubled head.

He attempted three other shows. All of them were canceled. Two of them he had to wrap up in the X-Files, and he wrapped them up with as much poise as I wrap burritos when high. One was canceled before airing, but he put a piece of it into an X-Files episode: a minor character in the cold open watches and praises this show, so enraptured that he doesn't hear his daughter being kidnapped by a serial killer or abducted by aliens or neither or both, tbh I'm still not 100% sure what happened and what didn't happen, because that episode was written by Chris Carter. The highest rated episode out of all the episodes in all of the three canceled shows has Darin Morgan's writing credit, and it's a sequel of an X-Files episode. Where Jose Chung just goes 'you know what? this sucks' and dies.

Yes, I did enjoy The Lone Gunmen, but guess who has the most writing credit? Yes, Vince Gilligan. Perhaps, executives didn't really understand and didn't bother looking into why X-Files was such a popular and beloved show? And kept on greenlighting Carter's pet projects and then going: Wait, Where Money? Probably. That's how I imagine the reason. Thing is, the X-Files was so beloved and popular not because of Carter's obsession with Christian symbolism and conspiracies and apocalypse and ambiguity so vague and lazy and full of itself that I felt vicarious embarrassment, not because of his narcissism God complex that is manifested on screen in such a way that watching it feels exactly and very specifically like grinding your teeth while there's a bit of slightly wet sand on them, and not because people ached to learn how aliens would colonize Earth. Characters. We loved the characters. We loved the relationships in the show. And we loved the CRAZY and the over-the-top. And all of the Human, all the Silly, and the Funny, and the Tragically Funny.

Every single episode I remember loving the most, and every single episode that tops every single 'bestest X-Files episodes evah' list, has the writing credit of either Darin Morgan (Humbug, Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, Jose Chung's From Outer Space, War of the Coprophages), or Vince Gilligan (Soft Light, Pusher, Bad Blood, Small Potatoes, Paper Hearts, Meme— you know what, this is easier), or Glen Morgan + James Wong (Squeeze, The Field Where I Died, Never Again, Musings of the Cigarette-Smoking Man). Not Carter. Although according to a WaPo article I read, Carter was insanely controlling and everything had to go through him. Duh. :-\ Not to mention, his entire writing room was a sausage fest, apparently? And Gillian Anderson finally got to write an episode only in season seven, when the show was about to be foreclosed by Fox and turned into a movie franchise (never happened, alas), and around the 'f*ck it who cares anymore we're rich and uncancellable' time when Gilligan was allowed to write the episode where Mulder solved existential nihilism via freeing a genie? Not surprised.

Meanwhile, Carter himself had written the episodes I was looking forward to the least during this rewatch. And my SO would be like: wow, you're rolling your eyes so hard I'm worried about your vision, should we maybe skip this one..? And I'd be like: no-no imma just do some chores, I really wanna do some chores, I'll be nearby, yes please keep on watching babe, no need to pause, I'll keep the bathroom door open to hear everything while I do my favorite very entertaining things like clean the toilet and scrub the shower and wash the litterbox.

Hmmm? What's that? Post-modern Prometheus is highly rated? Hoo boy :-| Can we please not go there... Also, even without all of the problematic aspects of PMP: 1) even a broken clock can do postmodernism is right twice a day, 2) no, it is not a well written episode; it's loved because of its subtly familiar nostalgic visuals and because it attempts to imitate Darin Morgan's signature style with about as much success as I had while trying to imitate Lovecraft when my English was at ~C1 level and then I started crying and went to Postmodernism and told him 'please mister postmodernism sir, please save me by making it all into a long setup to a punchline'.

Anyway x 11:21.

This whole realization made me dislike the Auteur theory even more. My relationship with it was already so hostile that we've been sending each other death threats every month since I was seventeen.

Yes, I should be fair(er). Chris Carter's primary role is NOT that of a writer, but a producer and director and *cringes* shOwRuNnEr. He was the one who pitched the show to Fox, was rejected, and fought for it until they agreed. Without him, the X-Files would not have existed at all. And all bad jokes aside, this show helped me a lot when I had no one and nothing else to help me. I was indeed in a parasocial relationship with its leads. They were my TV parents. Thing is, everything you love about the X-Files' writing... like me, any other casual viewer might discover that all of these things were not done by Carter. Yet he was getting all of the credit.

This is a very important, and seemingly obvious but not really, factoid that applies to a lot of shows and movies. The person you give credit for a thing is often not the person who should be getting it. If you're rolling your eyes right now and calling me agent Obvious: may I remind you, I'm permanently out of the loop about everything. EVERYTHING.

I'm not going to devolve this into a rant about Auteur theory...Because then I'd be here all day or until I start foaming at the mouth. And I'm sure everything has been said without me and before me, anyway. I'm not even going to write a more detailed analysis to defend my views regarding the 'painfully average'. Shmviews.

I've said what I wanted to say.

This rewatch was an interesting experience.

"Skinner wants our report in one hour. What are you going to tell him?" — "What do you mean what am I going to tell him? I'm going to tell him exactly what I saw. What are you going to tell him?" — "I'll tell him exactly what I saw".

[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x04

Episode Title: Jonathan Hart Jr

Original Airdate: October 6, 1979

Why this one? A 9 year old boy shows up claiming to be Jonathan's son? WHY WOULDN'T I PICK THIS ONE. Also, Jennifer gets real real fighting mad - madder than we ever get to see her before or since. It's just a lot of good stuff going on.

Favorite Quote: "I love you, you know that. And you would never ever leave a woman with a child. I know you."

First thing's first, she looks familiar because she was the mom from E.T. You're welcome.

Little trope-y, bad ex comes back to start some shit. But as far as threats go, he's probably right that getting arrested would be enough to get her son put into the system and that is no bueno.

"I love it when you wake me in the middle of the night." No, not that.

Look, it was pretty common for the dudes to be portrayed as horn dogs but they gave Jennifer a healthy sex drive that she's not ashamed of and that's a win for all of us.

"I'm jonathan hart jr."

Max is all of us.

Technically this episode is about Jonathan, but it's Jennifer who really comes in at the clutch. She takes care of that kid, and tries to make him feel comfortable, while Jonathan is sorting through his feelings.

They would have been good parents, but I do not long for them to procreate and am glad they never did.

Like even when Jennifer is all "this scheme isn't going to work" and Jonathan is like "I can't hurt that boy" she's all OK, I guess he's ours now.

Max is me when dealing with kids. What do we do with them?

Asking a child in los angeles how far they live from school - 5 to 10 minutes could be literally ANYWHERE. I would have said that at his age and you could have found 5 different elementary schools within that distance.

this woman really went around calling herself "Mrs Hart". Lady....LADY. it's weird enough that she lied to her kid...a lot. But that seems another bridge too far.

they find out the mom gave a fake address and the kid is like "hey can we go to the zoo now?"

I used to go to the LA Zoo a lot when I was little. You could get these wax animals made in vending machines and to this day the smell of hot wax transports me back there. I definitely had the lion.

12 hours later, JJr is kidnapped by his shitty real dad. This makes JSr really mad.

So JJr's mom shows up at the house.

This lady has some balls. "You must be Mrs Hart" And Jennifer is sitting there chewing the inside of her cheek and actually compliments the kid instead.

Personal proof in the form of a scar and Jennifer's like OK THAT;S REAL PERSONAL.

Jonathan is doing a good job of keeping his cool but he's Big Mad.

Small Jonathan is a chip off the fake block "My dad is gonna beat you up like crazy" lmao. But kid is right and he should say it.

"Be on time. No tricks, no cops."

Ooh, Jennifer aboutta fuck a bitch UP.

She admits she's having trouble with this particular excitement mostly because there's a kid who's in trouble and worst of all, Jonathan is wounded over this child. He has no idea if he's been kidnapped because they're related and he's in agony and Jennifer is Not About It.

I am TELLING YOU. this is a Jennifer ep.

Stanley Freeson is married with two kids? The fuck he is. He's a swinging single, show. It would have been in their best interest to have a show bible but nobody knew that 40 years later we'd be able to watch these on loop and pick it apart.

Man, Jonathan just gave her a 20% agent's fee and it was the single most devastating move. Then he drags her ass about her lies and Jennifer is in the front seat attempting not to look vindicated.

'member when I said Jonathan was big mad, though?

The Bad Dad starts beating up ET mom and Jonathan comes flying in like an avenger.

I'm not crying dad! FUCK KID. I AM.

"You know you're really beautiful when you're angry." LOL jennifer.

this guy is a real douchenozzle. Like he's for real a bad guy. He doesn't get to keep the $20k, does he? I don't remember.

"This little prince got lost in the middle of the nigh. And he couldn't find his way home. So some people took him in, and he stayed. They liked him a lot. They loved him. So he decided to stay. Would you like that Jonathan?"

The next day Jonathan the tech genius can't put together a swingset with Max. And the kid is like "I just need a rope, a board and a tree."

So then Jennifer puts on her Reporter had and goes beating the pavement to find ET mom and there's bad guy Vince following her because he's just the Worst.

And when Jennifer finds Connie, she doesn't kick her ass to the middle of next week. Which is just...classy.

"Listen to me, I said we'd help you and we will."

"Feeding the giraffes is a pain in the neck." she got JOKES.

This is when we find out that Jonathan is also at the zoo in a very convincing undercover costume.

They'll never recognize you, Clark!

"You mean that you're not really my father. If you were my father, you never would have waited so long to see me. Not you. But I wish you were, because next to my mom I think you're the neatest people in the whole world."

I talk mad shit about this show because it's mine and I love it. But it's also just... so sweet and gentle and it heals me.

I for reals mean to only hit my favorite of favorite episodes with this but I am obviously having a tough time whittling them down. I will be skipping Death in the Slow Lane (jonathan buys jennifer a vintage car for their anniversary but it's a piece of spy equipment? meh on plot, but features so killer costumes) and going straight for the absolute madness of "You Made Me Kill You". Something to look forward to, right?

[icypantherwrites]

Fanfic writer ask game thingy!

34. Fave comment?

46. Fave sentence/paragraph?

And imma cheat and add my own q which may or may not be the same as 46, but what's the most wild, ridiculous, out there sentence/paragraph you've written? (I just love wackadoo stuff okay lol)

(Also just choose the most recent ones that come to mind if faves are hard to pick)

<3

Oh goodness, you went diving deep down my page ;p I don't typically do the ask games outside of the ~week range but it's been so quiet this is nice, thank you ♥

#34: Favorite Comment

I know I've answered this in the past but I cannot find hide nor hair of it. It's super hard for me to select any one comment as I've had so many wonderful ones that really resonated with me. But what all of those comments have in common and are my favorite to read are attention to specific details in the story/chapter whether plot, character or writing related, highlighting particular parts or scenes that resonated, and just really showing they read the story and their reactions to it. I especially love it when commissioners give me those little details and get all excited when they see a point we'd discussed and how I handled it or how I brought in an idea/trope I knew they liked (either from previous commissions or even their comments) and they recognize it. I also love when people call out my Easter Eggs I make to my other fanfictions ;p

46. Fave sentence/paragraph? Too many to count ;p I have favorite serious ones and funny ones and deep ones and even just paragraphs where there's just such beautiful figurative language that paint a scene. A more recent one (publishing, at least, it was written quite a while back xD) though that I really just liked to share is:

From Red Poppies (an au!Hanahaki fic):

Lance coughed again and for the moment that seemed to be the last one as his chest had loosened the barest bit and he raised a trembling hand to his comm unit.

“I’m, I’m fine,” he choked out.

“Lance, what the hell was—?”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted and Dios, he’d never heard Shiro sound so angry and scared. “I, I don’t feel well. I’m going to head in.”

And he turned off his comms before he could hear Shiro’s response, wheeled Red around, and fled for his hangar.

The poppies strewn all over his lap and the cockpit looked like flowers on a grave.

46.2 Wackiest sentence/paragraph

I have quite a few favorite things that could probably fit this bill (although I think they tend to be more humorous than like, crazy), but one of the more recent is from my fic Koala Hugs where for a bit of context Lance has hypothermia and Pidge is trying to save him:

Pidge was shaking too much to feel the pulse but she felt the puff of cool air and that meant Lance was breathing and that meant he was alive and that meant she wasn’t too late to save him.

Except now…

She felt her cheeks heat.

“Get it together, Katie,” she scolded herself, clapping her hands to her cheeks. “It’s fucking science.”

I also really like this scene (whole thing but just highlighting a portion here) from Holding On To Hope where Lance is suffering from hypoxia:

Lance stared at them.

They looked funny.

Sort of like potatoes.

Were space rocks edible?

Had anyone ever tried to cook them?

Hunk probably could. Hunk could make anything taste good.

But maybe they tasted good raw?

Or!

Lance’s eyes lit up.

Maybe they were like potato chips. He loved potato chips.

He missed potato chips.

He could eat one right now though.

He reached out, clasping his hand around one small rock.

He brought it to his face—

Clunk!

Lance blinked.

He tried again.

Clunk!

Oh.

There was something over his mouth.

That was weird.